NEW WAYS of SEEING by Mark Tyrrell
This book is designed for clinicians and counsellors, however, I believe there is a message in it for all of us. It is about the art of reframing – challenge meaning – is essential to effective therapy and good communication.
Communication between us appears to be diminishing as our lives get busier. There are times when family members or friends tell you about their inadequacies. Often we listen with half an ear and then offer platitudes that make us feel better, but do they help? By reframing back to them what they said and add some positive feedback they not only feel listened to but they may have a new way of looking at things.
Metaphorical reframes can be more powerful than direct quotes because it bypasses the analytical resistance in the mind. This means it as not directly connected with the issue the person has expressed. One reason the direct approach may not work is that the person may have already tried to sort it out themselves. They may have heard it all before.
For example, many people express fear of going out in a crowd. A response could be to liken it to a faulty car alarm. Instead of going off on a rare occasion. It becomes sensitive and goes off all the time. We need the car alarm to alert us when someone is trying to break in. The car alarm is important, but it needs to be reset so it will not go off every time the car is rocked by the wind. Thus the person is not crazy or helpless. This is a very different way of communicating to someone about his panic rather than say get over it.
There are all sorts of ways we can use imaginative tools to improve our communication, especially with our children. A bad grade at school could be understood as there is only one way and that is up. the most important part is to really listen to what people are saying and use creative ways to help them to think their own way out of their issues.
I liked this book as it gave me so many ideas to improve my communication.
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Published by M.Kelly Author
I was born and raised in Western Australia. Before I retired I was an aged care Advocate
I as many people on the age pension, I have trouble paying the bills. There are those who complain about the lack of money, and there are those who try to improve their lot by being creative with their time to produce something that may make enough money to pay the bills.
I am retired but always seek new ways to engage my mind so I decided to write a book. I have spent a lot of time writing academic papers, have several degrees finishing with masters in theology. However, psychology had always been of interest to me as I like to learn what makes people tick. But I have never done any creative writing. I have found this an interesting if not scary experience. Writing a book was one thing getting it published is another. It is a whole world I know little about, but I am learning. Having a book published is a big thing for me because of my background. I have published my books through Xlibris, There already has been a lot of interest in my books.
My early life was shaped by several factors.
I have a very retentive memory and once I have read something I can usually remember it. This was a problem when I was younger as I remembered my reading. Everyone thought I was a good reader where in fact I could not read. I became ill and had to be home schooled. My teacher one day noticed that my eyes were not following the words and realized I could not read them. She tried Dick and Dora books, but I thought that was an insult to my intelligence and would not do it. Frustrated she asked what I would read, and I told her I had a book that my mother had thrown out and wanted to know it. It was the collective works of William Shakespeare thus the first thing I read at 9 years was Macbeth. This started a love of learning both formal and informal that I have kept up all my life.
I am also dyslectic, although I read a lot and have overcome most parts I still don’t like to read out loud as my eyes can miss a line. I believe this means, that for many people who think they can’t, I can prove that it is possible to reach a high standard of education even if there are some barriers. “If you think you can’t-you can’t; but if you think you can then you can.”
I have a strong sense of family, and I love each person in my family and will do all I can to help them. I am basically a sole parent as I am raising my granddaughter and we have many happy hours talking as she talks with her right brain and I listen with my left brain. We have a mad cat called whiskers who seems to think it is ok to bite me for some unknown reason. And fish in a rather big pond in the back yard.
As a counsellor and advocate, I have learned to listen carefully to people say, and I perceive it as one of my skills. My reading covers a wide area of history, realign and politics. I also like to read science fiction from time to time.
I love Facebook as a way of keeping up with friends and family. I also like to do art and when I am not writing I paint.
My first novel ‘Pathways in the mind’ is a psychological thriller. Although it is a novel, it is based on fact. It examines one person's world view after a traumatic event that causes Retro Amnesia. Although the novel is a story, it is based on fact.
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